Cold Cataclysm
by OpheliacAngel
Summary: Some drabbles on the season 7 premiere. They'll mainly be in Cas's pov, and knowing me they'll eventually be Destiel. While the premiere was both shocking and heartbreaking, I loved it and felt it made up a little after the finale. Please enjoy!
1. New Being

**Cold Cataclysm**

**Chapter 1: New Being**

This power is indescribable.

The only time he has ever felt something like this was when he was sent to drag Dean from the blood red abyss.

Souls squirm within him, pushing him up to a godlike height, calling him...

master…

savior…

possessor.

Strength surges within him, morphing him into something unimaginable, beautiful, as he stands before Dean.

His once charge.

He is a better, more capable god, no matter how much the eldest wants to drive him off that road.

The words well up within him as he now realizes he has the ability to gain whatever he wants.


	2. Know Him

**Cold Cataclysm**

**Chapter 2: Know Him**

When he says it…

He means it.

That's not to say he expects Dean to do it, do anything he wants for that matter.

When his charge bows down before him he's aware he's faking it, playing his little game as Dean would call it.

There's something else as well though, when the eldest Winchester drops down he doesn't like it.

Hates it.

He's admired Dean, hung around him for many reasons: his stubbornness, belief in free will, etc.

The shock looms before him when Dean does it.

Immediately he wishes him to stand back up.

This isn't his Dean.


	3. Similar Sensations

**Cold Cataclysm**

**Chapter 3: Similar Sensations**

There are so many feelings around him.

He grabs onto one specifically, Sam's distress, the massive fight he's in just to maintain an upright position.

He really would do all that for Dean.

Once Castiel would have as well.

But he went down another road, performed a sacrifice so great not even the eldest could recognize the sheer immensity of it.

And all Castiel could manage to do was shake his head in disgust, and look at them for what they really were.

Lower than him.

He takes hold of what Sam feels, studies it, contemplates about claiming his soul and crushing all that pain into oblivion.

It's far better than experiencing what his brother is feeling at the moment, exactly what the angel felt not too long ago.

Betrayal.


	4. Onset

**Cold Cataclysm**

**Chapter 4: Onset**

He can feel them, somewhere deep inside, tearing all that's new and beautiful away from him piece by piece, devouring his enlightened soul.

They call his name, repeatedly since he first heard it uttered from their malicious lips in that cathedral.

Castiel shivers in his wearied trench coat.

More than once he thinks of making up, of going to his charge before it's too late.

These things whisper to him, bring up dreadful thoughts as threats pour out to rumble deep in his chest.

He stops for the thousandth time, catches his pained breath.

What has he done to himself?


	5. Broken Me

**Cold Cataclysm**

**Chapter 5: Broken Me**

His baby needs attention, of course he's tending to her.

Not watching over Sam while he sleeps, he has Bobby for that.

Not calling Cas and begging him to come back, like he should.

But he's scared, fearing his angel is too far gone already, not coming back this time.

Even for him.

_Dean Winchester, you son of a bitch. _

He's aware he's the only person able to get through to Cas, what with the bond they have and the way Castiel once looked so much up to him.

But he's under the moonlight, coward that he is.

Crying inside.


	6. Heartless?

**Cold Cataclysm**

**Chapter 6: Heartless?**

That thing that _monster _in the mirror isn't him.

Can't possibly be him.

Yet the glass painfully draws the curtain away, allows him to see something he had not expected.

These aren't souls.

They do no pulse as souls do.

These creatures squirm and squeeze and peel the precious flesh of his vessel away.

They're digging him apart from the inside.

_Don't panic. _

_Don't blame anyone else but yourself for what's happening now. _

And if Dean could see him now, the look of horror flashing across his face would kill him.

Make his heart stop if he had a heart.


	7. Dragged Under

**Cold Cataclysm**

**Chapter 7: Dragged Under**

He hears their calls to him as strong as ever.

They pierce through his mind, making it impossible to cease to listen.

He doesn't know what these things are, only knows they want him.

Need him for something.

Castiel hasn't thought of Jimmy in any of this, not like it matters now, ever truly mattered.

Jimmy is gone.

He was gone the moment he gave control over to Castiel.

He can feel them fighting their way out, shredding his vessel to pieces in the process.

_Castiel… Castiel…_

Voices poisonous. Claws tearing.

He wonders if he'll be dragged under alongside Jimmy.


	8. Say Something!

**Cold Cataclysm**

**Chapter 8: Say Something!**

He's barely holding it together as it is, and he shouldn't be forced to feel this yet he does.

Sam wants to scream at Dean to say something.

Display some form of emotion.

Anything.

It doesn't even have to be crying.

He just wants him to say that he misses Cas.

Cause Sam misses Cas, so Dean has to miss him a hell of a lot more.

His brother is such a hypocrite.

Dean expects him to play the 'share and care' card, yet he never wants to himself.

Yeah, losing Cas is painful.

So is what he's going through.


	9. Am I Enough?

**Cold Cataclysm**

**Chapter 9: Am I Enough?**

I want to smack Dean right about now.

His complete refusal to let Sam catch a break.

Sheesh, he's been hovering over him like he's gonna drop dead.

Hell, I'm worried about the kid too, but that doesn't mean I'm about to mother hen him to death.

And Dean… don't even get me started on him.

Part of why he's so much my favorite is because he has a lot of heart, something most have to look deep enough to notice.

I worry about him, know he's not one to talk.

Dunno if I'll be enough to keep him together.


	10. The Strongest Bond

**Cold Cataclysm **

**Chapter 10: The Strongest Bond**

I swear, it's everything I can muster up not to grab Dean and shake him hard.

Force him to pour out all the misery and regret being suppressed within every pore.

But I don't want to break him, couldn't live with myself if I did.

That kid is everything to me, why I'm still kicking right now.

He's done more than save my ass, he's given me a reason to keep on tolerating all this bullshit thrown at the three of us.

I love them with every damn breath.

They're all I've got left.

And I don't mind it much.


	11. Disappointing Change

**Cold Cataclysm**

**Chapter 11: Disappointing Change**

Crowley's ashamed to admit he's freaking out a little right now.

Demons don't freak out.

He doesn't deserve this, becoming this abomination's servant.

_Should have listened to that nagging voice at the back of my head…_

_Why the bloody hell would I choose Castiel?_

Watching him lose his innocence, give all of himself up for the Winchester was amusing though, he had to admit.

But living in an RV?

Drinking cheap scotch?

No way, life must be better than this.

Things just aren't the same.

Castiel terrifies him now, and he hates working for anyone.

He'll get payback soon enough.


	12. Heart Collapsing

**Cold Cataclysm**

**Chapter 12: Heart Collapsing  
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The exact moment Dean sees Castiel… he dies inside.

It's like Cas is being ripped apart from his interior.

The blood… scars… the way his face seems to collapse in on itself.

He looks like a freaking zombie, _his _brother, _his _Cas.

Suddenly Dean doesn't remember anything, how it got to be this bad, how any of this couldn't be a dream.

And the way Cas looks at him, staring right through him, oblivious.

Cold, dead eyes.

Why would the angel do this to himself?

He doesn't get it… any of it.

Dean wonders if this is all his fault.


End file.
